Monthly Archives: March 2012

Double, double toil and trouble…

Witches, curanderos, and psychics are as common here in Tecate as enchiladas, rice and beans. If you are interested in learning what lies ahead in your life we offer a a wide variety of spiritualists. For example, Don Teofilo practices ornithomancy and employs a really cute little yellow-breasted sapsucker. Then there’s our poop psychic, Doña Marcelina.  She’s into scatomancy and for her purpose she uses a duck! I have some direct experience with many of our local witches over the years and I’m obliged to confess that I’ve had some interesting consultations. Our newest weird sister is Pamela who recently arrived from Catemaco, Veracruz, the witch capital of Mexico. She practices gastromancy. Pamela doesn’t employ a bird, or a  duck or any other prop.  She claims to reveal future events by listening carefully and studying the sounds emanating from the stomach.

Well, I’m allways interested in meeting a new diviner and so I made an appointment with Pamela. She works out of her garage. She bid me lie down, expose myself, and relax. I complied. She pressed her ear to my stomach and my whole future unfolded.

“Hmmm.” She moved her ear a little to the right. “Hmmm.”

The smoke had rather a soothing effect and I  relaxed.

“I see you are a very healthy individual. No illnesses are seen in the immediate future ”

“That’s nice.”

“Please don’t talk. I might miss something. “Hmmm.” she moved her ear a little to the left and pressed down. “I see you will soon embark on a journey.”  She moved the auditory organ down as low as decency permits and I heard another  hmmm. “I see you are recovering from a broken heart.”

Now, how could she possibly know that! Maybe it was all those nachos I had earlier.

“Hmmm.”

I diddn’t like the sound of that hmmm.

“You will soon suffer a monetary loss.” Now, she moved her ear a little higher and another hmmm. “Oh! Oh? Yes! A stranger is coming into your life.”  She pressed down and listened again. “A woman! But she’s not from here.  She comes from the other side of the border. That will be $100 pesos, please.”

I wasn’t too impressed with the reading, it sounded kind of rehearsed to me. I had a lot to do and so I put it out of my mind. I had to get ready for a book club meeting in Dallas. I had to get the Mercedes into the shop to see about a funny noise. It wasn’t until a couple of weeks after I got back that I had a minute to recall my visit to Pamela and began to  review her reading. In a sense I suppose I could consider the trip to Dallas as a journey. The funny noise in the car cost me  $1000. Could that be considered the loss? I thought about it some more.

Hey, Pamela may  not be a fake after all! I think I’ll go back to her. She might have an update on Señorita X!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Double,double toil and trouble

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The Erotic Legend of Kuchumá

It might be said that the erotic mountain of Kuchumá is our logo. It stands partly in the United States and partly in Mexico, shedding all its mystery and magic on the little town of Tecate, Baja California where miracles happen every day.  We count on the mountain as a reliable weather forecaster, generous wish granter, and wise counsel in love affairs. When the light is favorable you can easily discern Kuchumá and Iztakát lying naked in each others arms. If you listen carefully when the wind is from the east, you can hear the soft moaning and murmurs of the two lovers.  Above is a rare and unusual shot of our clairvoyant mountain under a rainbow.  It is an accepted truth here that if you make a wish while the lovers are under a rainbow, Iztakát will make it come true. (Let me know how this works for you). The second photo is from Serie Erotica of renowned local artist Gabriel Adame. By the way, the cover of Tequila, Lemon, and Salt is  from  Adame’s celebrated collection, Los Monitos Curados.

The complete erotic legend of Kuchumá is on page one of Love Potion.

 

 

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PARTY CRASHER!

I  strolled down to the lake a little while ago to throw some bread to the ducks – and look who showed up!I have never seen anything like this in Tecate. Anybody know what it is?  Too small for a stork.

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